Bravery Lost
by somewherexthere
Summary: SEQUEL TO BRAVERY. Can stand alone, but will be better if you've read Bravery first. She was a pathetic excuse for a Gryffindor, but there's no use in pondering maybes and what if's. DMHG


A/N I have finals, dangit, but I can't seem to get this out of my head. I have had nothing but inspiration for stories, and I am so as;ljeialskdf! I seriously need to write my Philosophy essay, but I can't concentrate on it. I am _not _letting myself update_ Eavesdropping_ just yet, because whenever I write a chapter, it seems to get longer. Has anyone else noticed that? Anyhow, I wasn't meaning to write a sequel to _Bravery_, but it just sort of happened. Anyhow, wish me luck for finals! :) Enjoy.

* * *

He was the rational choice. He was her best friend and he liked her well enough. He loved her, even. He gave her all he had. After the war, his family had risen to the top. He had asked for her hand in marriage before the war, and now that it was after the war, he did just that. Hermione Weasley didn't have a ring to it, but it will do. After all, Hermione Weasley (nee Granger) was a logical person. It was illogical for her to have had a crush on Draco Malfoy since second year. It was illogical for her to have fallen in love with him. It was illogical that they kissed that day after his trial. It was illogical that they had a short-lived secret relationship. What was most illogical was that she didn't even think she was cheating on Ron. Following her heart had been the most thrilling and happy time of her life, but she had to revert to logic, where she belonged to Ronald Billius Weasley, and no one else. It hurt, however, that everything reminded her of Draco Malfoy. Even her daughter.

_Exactly 10 years ago_

"Surprise!"

"Draco, you shouldn't have!" He held out a bouquet of red roses to her. It warmed her heart, but she was worried. She knew after the war, the Malfoy name was in shambles. There was no way he had the galleons to buy her such a beautiful bouquet.

"I wanted to; it is our first week-versary after all. Besides, I think you've forgotten I'm a wizard. I couldn't have afforded this, but I did conjure the roses and wrapped it by wand," he said. A ghost of a smirk that used to condescendingly tower over Hermione was there, but it was playful. He'd really changed since their confessions.

"Thank you, I love them, Malfoy. Week-versary? I wonder what you'll give me next week. I didn't know that you knew how to wrap flowers, being such a spoiled brat," Hermione said, teasing back. It was nice, simply having him with her. They couldn't date in public, as both wanted to avoid rumours and such. _The Daily Prophet_ certainly would put in crude words about Draco's house arrest and trying to appeal to the public eye by going out with a "Mudblood". Hermione had a secret reason of her own, as well. If word ever reached Ron…. She already decided to break it off with Ron. There was no other way. The only problem was that Draco didn't know about the engagement, and Ron was grieving for the loss of Fred. It didn't seem right at all to tell him now.

"Well, _Granger_, if you love them so much, maybe if we ever have a daughter, we should name her Rose, after these roses I conjured for you." It was the first time either of them had ever talked about a future together. They'd shared kisses, secrets, held hands in the privacy of Hermione's flat, but to imply that there would be a future was exhilarating.

Pressing a kiss to his lips, Hermione asked, "And if our first born is a boy?"

"I suppose I have to start thinking of something masculine to give you next week, Mia," that was their relationship. Fun, teasing, loving, childish, and _interesting_. It was all the things she could never have with Ron. Sure, Ron made her laugh, but it wasn't the same. It was more so laughing _at_ him, than with him. Ron always took teasing the wrong way, and his jealous side never really let her explore her wit. The only thing she could really tease him about was his eating habits, which he was never shy of. She loved him, of course. They'd been best friends for the longest of time, but it wasn't the same. She couldn't fall _in_ love with him. She'd accepted the engagement because it was simply there. It was convenient, and with the war looming by, nobody would know what could happen. Ron acted childish, but in such a way that she had to be a mother. Marrying her would make her Mrs. Weasley #2, rather than Mrs. Ron Weasley. And simply, there was nothing interesting about their relationship. He never kept her on her toes the way Draco did. In short, she felt even stronger that she had to break it off with Ron.

Of course, this obviously never happened, but she did insist that she named her first daughter Rose. Hermione often wondered if she did the right thing in leaving Draco, and naming her daughter Rose.

_Exactly 9 years, 11 months, and 3 weeks ago_

True to his word, Draco brought Hermione to another date on their second week-versary. It was strange that he would celebrate every week they spent together, but she wasn't about to complain. It was endearing to know their relationship meant so much to him. On a whim, they'd gone on a picnic. It'd rained the day before, so they'd charmed the blanket to be completely water proof. Surprisingly enough, he'd also made the food by hand. Of all places for Draco Malfoy to own, even with his money stripped from him, he would still have the most beauteous of back yards. It wasn't really surprising, as the Ministry had allowed him to choose a flat worth 20,000 galleons and below. It was a small flat, but it was warm, unlike Malfoy Manor. She supposed the Ministry didn't want him to wander the streets, as they could have better control over him if he were dwelling under a roof. It would have been considered "dangerous" to allow him back into Malfoy Manor, where new dark artifacts were still being found every once in a while.

"This is wonderful. I never even knew that there would be so many stars visible!"

"There's always stars if you know where to look."

"How did you even find this place?"

"Magic," Draco said slyly. It was always like that with him, answering questions in such a way that made her want to hit him and kiss him at the same time. He was different. A bloke worth keeping. She decided to do both, lightly hitting his shoulder and kissing his cheek. When he protested the abuse to his shoulder, she pushed a strawberry to his lips, stopping him from talking.

"This is a wonderful date. What's your favourite constellation?"

"Scorpius. It's next to the constellation Draco, so I always feel like I have someone next to me, and I'm never alone. Though, I know I won't be alone anymore, now."

"You're such a slimy git, Malfoy."

"I love you too, Hermione." His eyes were full of promise: the one thing that Hermione cherished the most about their relationship. It was promising, taboo, and beautiful. It was like making a secret pact that would last a lifetime. She knew he was the one she wanted to spend the rest of her days with.

"I like your story. If we have a boy, let's name him Scorpius."

"I'd like that. I'd like to think I'd be there for him, and he'd never be alone. I want to be the father I never had to him."

"That's beautiful, Draco," and yet again, they shared another kiss.

_9 years and 8 months ago_

Hermione remembered this the most, because it hurt the most. She knew it'd come, the day when Ron decided to go on with their engagement. She never had the chance to break it off. She didn't have the heart to; the Weasley family was still so broken from the loss of Fred. They needed the cheers of a wedding to lift their spirits. She didn't want to, but she had to say goodbye to Draco Malfoy, the boy she'd crushed on, and the man she'd fallen in love with.

Maybe it was for the better. Ron could provide for her stability, while Draco could only give her hidden dates. Over the course of their two months together, they had gone from innocent kisses and holding hands, to energetic, sensual dances in the bedroom. It had all come so fast, and unfortunately, had to leave even quicker. Maybe Draco Malfoy was just a phase. She could learn to get over it, and perhaps love Ron. Ron was loveable. He was her best friend. She could learn to treasure him the way he treasured her. No, Draco would never be a mistake or regret. It was simply fulfilling a fantasy. It was time to come back to reality, now. Over the course of the past two months, she lived with no consequences, forgetting the pains of the war, letting everything slip away. She even allowed herself to forget the death of her parents and her dear friends (including Fred Weasley). It was a magical time, but as all dreams must end, so must this. She often wondered where her Gryffindor courage went, and why she was willing to repress her true thoughts and emotions to become what was expected of her.

"You seem pensive today, Love." _Love_. There was that word again. It stabbed her heart from the inside out, because she needed to end it today. She let him kiss her; she let his kisses trail down to her collarbone. If anything, this would be the last time. She wanted to feel him one last time. "Let me help you forget." And he did. He helped her forget everything for the past two months. And if even for just another hour or two, she needed to keep forgetting. Hermione flung the rest of her rational thoughts out the window, returning his passion tit for tat. _Just once more._

When she opened her eyes and saw his calm, serene face, she lost her nerve. His arm was still draped across her naked form, and tears fell silently from her eyes. She had to do this; she _had_ to. It was unfair for all of them, but it was the right thing to do. If anything, Ron would never know, and perhaps Draco would find happiness with someone else. Quietly, she replaced herself with pillows as she slid out of his warm arms. She will write him a note; there was no way she could tell him in person.

She never looked back. She was too much of a coward to. She never took back anything she left in his flat, either. She was only lucky the Weasley family and Harry had been too upset and in mourning to even notice her absence. Or perhaps they did, and thought she coped in a different way. She'd only talked to them twice during her entire relationship with Draco, and now that it was ending, she was to be a part of the Weasley family. It was no use in taking things back from Draco's flat from when she was a Granger, hopelessly in love with a Malfoy.

_Present_

Over the course of the past decade, she'd heard news of him every now and then. Word had it that she left him a broken man, drinking himself silly. It was only when he met Astoria Greengrass that his life settled, and eventually, he married her. It still pained her to know he'd found someone else. It was completely selfish of her to think so, as she was the one to leave him for Ron. While her heart reached out for him when he was broken, and she felt guilty, but she felt even guiltier that she wished he'd remained that way. She wished he would never get over her, the way she'd never gotten over him. It wasn't until then that she decided to officially consummate her marriage with Ron. It was also then that she became pregnant with Rose Weasley.

Hermione reckoned that Astoria Greengrass understood Draco. She, too, had turned from the dark side for the light side in the war. However, she was still condemned for the sins of her parents, and was also placed under house arrest. She and Draco shared that history, the pain. It was the part that Hermione could never fully understand, as she had been a part of the light side all along. She faced no consequences from the war; only suffered in the war. Of course, there was also the pains of missing her parents and mourning her friends, but that was something everyone else went through. She didn't have the trauma of being a puppet, and accused unjustly for being one. It was for the better that he'd found Astoria. She found herself hoping that like her, it was a marriage of convenience, rather than love. Selfish thoughts often entered her mind for the past decade.

When she heard about Scorpius Malfoy being born, her heart broke. It was _their_ name. Of course, she'd taken Rose, so it was only fair that he took Scorpius. She wondered if they would meet in Hogwarts… if they would be friends. She would know in two years' time. A part of her knew that Draco would be a better father than his own. She knew he would be there for Scorpius, letting Scorpius know that he was never alone. But another part of her also told her that it wasn't the reason behind Scorpius' name. Or maybe, it was what she hoped. She hoped that he felt the same, and named his son Scorpius to tell _himself_ that _he_ is also not alone. Maybe she left a hole in his heart that left him abandoned, and he needed Scorpius to fill it. Maybe he felt the same way she did. Maybe it was all wishful thinking.

It didn't matter anymore. They each had their own family to support. It was no use dwelling on what could never be, and what _almost_ was. If only she'd been brave enough to tell Ron the truth. If only she'd been brave enough to forgo the social norm, and let herself follow her heart.

She was a pathetic excuse for a Gryffindor, that was for sure. Maybe Draco's Slytherin side had rubbed off on her, and she lost the bravery she used to show with pride. Thinking of maybes and what if's wasn't going to help her dilemma, certainly. It only made her weaker, and wishing for more of what couldn't happen. At least she hadn't lost the Gryffindor pride.


End file.
